House of Chin » Humor

Fred Thompson stares down Mexico.

Michael — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 14:08:07 +0000

These are too funny not to post. I found this little sampling in a Star-Telgram article. This factoids are in the ‘Chuck Norris’ spirit of odd facts. Check at the article and the site (linked below).

Here are just a few little-known facts about Fred Thompson:

Every night, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.

Though Fred Thompson left the Senate in 2003, Harry Reid still hasn’t stopped wetting his pants.

Fred Thompson once ended a filibuster by ripping out a senator’s heart and showing it to him before he died.

Only two things can kill Superman: Kryptonite and Fred Thompson.

Fred Thompson once stood on our south border and glared at Mexico. There was no illegal immigration for a month.

Fred Thompson vows not only to win in Iraq but also to forcefully free Vietnam from communism, thus giving America a perfect win/loss record for wars again.

These are just a few of the “Fred Thompson Facts” posted on the conservative humor site IMAO ( www.imao.us) in March.

As the old proverb goes, there’s truth in jest.

Here Goes Nothin!

Michael — Mon, 21 May 2007 01:24:57 +0000

Our first regularly scheduled broadcast on Blog Talk Radio will be tomorrow morning at 6:30 AM- EST.

We plan on being with you every morning at that time… Unless the alarm doesn’t go off or the dogs are being particularly pesky. We’ll also do shows on Thursday evenings at 10:00 PM and Sunday mornings at 11:00 AM.

See you there!!

Happy…”Day”.

Michael — Tue, 01 May 2007 13:37:04 +0000

I just thought I’d relate a funny exchange I had this morning on my way into the office. I was raising the flags (my daily routine) and an uber liberal co-worker saunters up quite full of himself and says “Happy Anniversary”. This was an obvious reference to “Mission Accomplished”.

So I turned to him and said “Happy Birthday to Communism”. He walked away, a surly look on his face. It worked quite effectively at preventing an inane “Bush lied, people died” conversation.

Just thought I’d offer it as a pest repellent for today.

-Chin

Funniest Post of the Day!

Michael — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 15:34:00 +0000

2008 Presidential Debates: Mike Gravel

The reaction to Gravel’s performance has overwhelmed his campaign. His aides said they got more requests for interviews yesterday than in the first 12 months of the campaign.
Gravel’s website could not handle the flood of hits after the debate, they said. Bloggers complained that they were ready to donate money but were unable to get into the website .
“He started out with less money than the cost of a John Edwards haircut,” said Elliott Jacobson, Gravel’s national finance director.
Gravel told reporters after the debate: “We stayed in a $55 motel. I’ll hitchhike to the next debate if I have to.”

There must be someway out of here- Geraldo’s Nightmare

Michael — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 22:49:38 +0000

This little rant from Men’s News Daily is too funny not to post. If you want some red hot political incorrectness, check them out. Just follow the link.

MNDv3: There must be someway out of here » Geraldo?s Nightmare

Nobody Flashes: Today, men who had never heard of the minute men, gathered near the border in recognition of Geraldo Rivera’s:

“Honor a Illegal Alien’s Right to Get Drunk Day.”

Last week, in case you didn’t see it, Geraldo Rivera was very upset with Bill O’Reilly for having no compassion for a poor simple Mexican drunk, who had come over the border illegally, and who not ONLY had the misfortune for not having the name BUBBA…but suffered the indignity of having to have Geraldo Rivera stand up for his good name of Ramos

All this poor guy wanted to do evidently was get drunk and drive in a country that would not load up his inebriated carcase and send him off to jail if he committed any crimes. And in the state of Virginia, he had found just the right place to commit any crime he wanted and live in a drunken stupor, unlike Mexico where he might have been eaten by wild pigs.

He was always getting stopped for drinking here, but the cops let him go—what a great country! So what if he accidentally killed two young girls? Lots of people do that!

What a racist Bill was, Geraldo felt, for even bringing up his illegality! Why, Ramos has just as much right to get drunk and kill people as the citizens already here, and to say anything contrary to that fact, was just plain….not fair! We are luring the drunks here! Democrats are giving them free beer in the waiting rooms of every hospital!

Geraldo was so mad at O’Reilly for being outraged at illegals breaking our laws, and no one caring about it, that Geraldo lost it all, and called him one of the worst thing a man can call another man…”Lou Dobb’s Mom.”

And then, even though Lou Dobb’s was not anywhere near Geraldo, or the scene of the crime, Geraldo said,”Lou Dobbs has regenerated his dead career on the backs of illegal aliens.”

I thought O’Reilly was going to say, “Well, at least he HAD a serious career, besides opening dead mob bosses vaults, and drawing troop movements in the sand of Iraq,” but he didn’t.

Geraldo also thinks that we have “lured these poor illegally drunk people here” by also offering free houses, education, all the gringo’s jobs—It’s our own fault!
We are SUCH an uncompassionate nation!

Yet the thing that frightened Geraldo the most, was that the minutemen were now carrying guns.

Yes, the citizens of America had decided to use their 2nd amendment rights, and also join the illegal aliens in their right to get drunk in the most generous country on the planet.

If the drug cartels can shoot at border agents for not letting them come over and sell their drugs, then by golly, the minute men should be allowed to go into Mexico, get drunk, kill a few Mexicans while driving, and be able to not ever be punished, and stay as long as they like.

I’d say that’s fair.

I read that the Spanish people think the Americans are stupid, and it’s no wonder…with guys like Geraldo on the air.

So here’s a nobody toast!—To all men in the United States that are legal citizens, have guns, like beer, and still shake Geraldo’s hand when they see him.

God Bless America!

Fred Thompson political cartoon.

Michael — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 15:34:09 +0000

Great cartoon from blogsforthompson!!!!

Pretty much says it all doesn’t it?

Hillary Photo: You write the caption contest.

Michael — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 13:57:59 +0000

You can leave your caption here. Or join our forum to read them all and have your’s applauded or critiqued.

Google Fools: Web Service Through Toilet

Michael — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 13:46:16 +0000

Everyone loves a good gag. Hat’s off to the evil empire, Google for a good laugher over the weekend. The clock has started on how long it will take for some schmuck to sue because he spent all weekend with his head is the crapper trying to surf porn.

Google Fools: Web Service Through Toilet – Forbes.com

Presiding over a company with a market value of $143 billion apparently gives Silicon Valley’s most famous billionaires a good sense of humor – and a case of corporate potty mouth. Senior executives at Google Inc. launched their annual April Fools’ Day prank Sunday, posting a link on the company’s home page to a site offering consumers free high-speed wireless Internet through their home plumbing systems.

Code-named “Dark Porcelain,” Google (nasdaq: GOOG – news – people ) said its “Toilet Internet Service Provider” (TiSP) works with Microsoft Corp. (nasdaq: MSFT – news – people )’s new Windows Vista operating system. But sorry – septic tanks are incompatible with the system’s requirements.

The gag included a mock press release quoting Google co-founder and president Larry Page, a step-by-step online installation manual, and a scatological selection of Frequently Asked Questions. On some Google sites, the company’s official logo – a multicolored “Google” that changes according to the season and on holidays – substituted a commode for the second “g.”

“There’s actually a thriving little underground community that’s been studying this exact solution for a long time,” Page said in the facetious statement. “And today our Toilet ISP team is pleased to be leading the way through the sewers, up out of your toilet and – splat – right onto your PC.”

Karl Rove raps-”I’m MC Rove”

Michael — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 14:03:48 +0000

This is easily the most pathetic display of whiteness I have ever seen. I’m quite ashamed to be both white and Republican at this point. Watch the whole debacle unfold in the pod viewer located to the right of the page.

The Story of Two Houses

Michael — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 19:57:33 +0000

Thanks triple6!!!

LOOK OVER THE DESCRIPTIONS OF THE FOLLOWING TWO HOUSES AND SEE IF YOU CAN TELL WHICH BELONGS TO AN ENVIRONMENTALIST.

HOUSE # 1:

A 20-room mansion (not including 8 bathrooms) heated by natural gas. Add on a pool (and a pool house) and a separate guest house all heated by gas. In ONE MONTH ALONE this mansion consumes more energy than the average American household in an ENTIRE YEAR. The average bill for electricity and natural gas runs over $2,400.00 per month. In natural gas alone (which last time we checked was a fossil fuel), this property consumes more than 20 times the national average for an American home. This house is not in a northern or Midwestern “snow belt,” either. It’s in the South.

HOUSE # 2:

Designed by an architecture professor at a leading national university, this house incorporates every “green” feature current home construction can provide. The house contains only 4,000 square feet (4 bedrooms) and is nestled on arid high prairie in the American southwest. A central closet in the house
holds geothermal heat pumps drawing ground water through pipes sunk 300 feet into the ground. The water (usually 67 degrees F.) heats the house in winter and cools it in summer. The system uses no fossil fuels such as oil or natural gas, and it consumes 25% of the electricity required for a conventional heating/cooling system. Rainwater from the roof is collected and funneled into a 25,000 gallon underground cistern. Wastewater from showers, sinks and toilets goes into underground purifying tanks and then into the cistern. The collected water then irrigates the land surrounding the house. Flowers and shrubs native to the area blend the property into the surrounding rural landscape.

HOUSE # 1 (20 room energy guzzling mansion) is outside of Nashville, Tennessee. It is the abode of that renowned environmentalist (and filmmaker) Al Gore.

HOUSE # 2 (model eco-friendly house) is on a ranch near Crawford, Texas. Also known as “the Texas White House,” it is the private residence of the President of the United States, George W. Bush.

So whose house is gentler on the environment? Yet another story you WON’T hear on CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC, MSNBC or read about in the New York Times or the WashingtonPost. Indeed, for Mr. Gore, it’s truly “an inconvenient truth.”